A Stan-turd Experience

In keeping with this site’s scatological theme as of late, here’s an IM conversation held Sunday between me and my very good friend, Adam.

Kerry: i did totally just take a dump
Adam: how was it?
Kerry: fine. i take a lot of dumps. this one was nothing special.
Adam: so it was… a stan-turd experience?
Kerry: absoPOOTly.
Adam: i’m trying to think of another one, but it’s not going well
Kerry: are you experiencing some mental blockage?
Adam: oh look at you!
Kerry: i am well versed in poop jokes
Adam: are you a… conno-sewer?
Kerry: GOD why doesn’t anyone else get to know how awesome we are?
Adam: i know… if they knew they would be dump-founded by our humor
Kerry: I guess i should write this all down in my diary-ah or no one will ever know
Adam: put it in your diarrhy
Kerry: there HAS to be sketch comedy out there with similar jokes
Adam: surely
Kerry: diary-uh seems so obvious
Kerry: but hey maybe that’s just me and my twisted mind
Adam: yes it seems we’re… doo-doomed to keep this to ourselves
Kerry: next time i have to take a hellacious shit, i’m going to announce to the room (car,
office, whatever) that they are all doo-doomed
Adam: i want that on video
Kerry: i think we just came up with a great sketch
Adam: we’re gonna be… comedy pooper-stars
Kerry: we’re gonna have to jump through poops with the press.
Kerry: do interpoos.
Kerry: take a lot of picturds
Kerry: sign a lot of release forms
Kerry: give up our privates-y
Adam: i’m thinking i’m thinking!

Kerry: don’t worry, it will come to you instinkually
Adam: we’ll be filthy stinking rich
Adam: maybe we’ll move to bowel-verly hills
Kerry: so we will! with all that money, we could start collecting picturds by famous fartists
Adam: with all that money it’ll be our… doody… to support the farts
Adam: we’ll become… phil-loafropists
Adam: maybe we’ll win the nobel… fece prize
Kerry: Fece?
Kerry: seriously?
Kerry: HAHAHAH
Adam: i’m running low
Kerry: me too